Jokes about Covid

Enough with whining, tears and depression. This is a humorous site and people are here to laugh. People say: strike care for joy! Here are creative jokes from around the world.

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- I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed that the ministry of health, to fight Covid, made the new rules for access to bars. A maximum of 3 people can enter together, but in alphabetical order. Yours Zack Zaiger.


- Everyone is complaining that 900,000 people are out of work due to the closing of the bars and nobody cares about us 12 million who are thirsty.


- Not every time the loss of taste means you have encountered COVID-19. Sometimes the wife just cooks badly.


- This world is getting crazier every day and I don't understand it anymore. Let me tell you what happened to me the other day, so you can see for yourself. After 2 weeks of isolation, I ran out of cash. I've lost my ATM card several times already, so those from the bank don't want to give me new one. So I had to go to the bank in person to withdraw money. I come to the entrance, and there's a security guard. He stops me and says I donít follow the precautions because I donít have a mask on my face. Now I am completely confused: when last time I entered this bank with a mask, I was placed in isolation for five years.


In a bar:
- Waiter, bring the lady sitting in the corner a drink.
- OK! Anyway, I want to tell you that the lady is married.
- I know. She is my wife, but I respect the rules on social distancing.


- The other day I was listening a world-famous doctor who explained that the most effective weapon against the COVID-19 virus is common sense. That worries me a lot because most of us are disarmed.


- Absolute pleasure is when you are positive for coronavirus and when you give your doctor contact data with all the people you dislike.


If, after this epidemic and months of isolation, to raise your morale and make you forget the hard times, somebody offer you two options: a dream trip, to some exotic place with your wife or a barbecue with your friends, what would you choose?

  1. Well done
  2. Medium
  3. Rare


Husband calls his wife:
- Hi dear, I'm at the supermarket. What should I take?
- Do you wear the face mask?
- Yes!
- Get the cash desk.


- The world became a better place lately: there are many more positive persons.

Coronavirus pandemic COVID-19, March 14, 2020

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