Short jokes

- All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.

- Why didn't the sailors play cards?
- Because the captain was sitting on the deck.

- Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
- Because the grass tickles their balls!

- What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms?
- 365 used condoms are VERY good year.

- What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
- Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.

A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops:
- Stop! Treason! The ass!!!

- Who has invented the love?
- The poor, so they can fuck for free.

Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.

Good: Your wife doesn't talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.

Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.

Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.

Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.

Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.