The best jokes about sex

Sex and sexual activities are the world movers, so let enjoy them either in jokes.


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Wife and husband


A couple make love. She:
- Dear, you are like a mobile phone.
- What does it mean?
- As soon as you enter the tunnel, you lose the signal.

Two women talk about sex:
- Do you tell your husband when you reach the orgasm?
- No, I donít want to bother him while he is in the office.

In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. Everybody writes except little John. The teacher asks him:
- John, why aren't you writing?
- I'm exhausted because of sex.
- That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband:
- Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!

While making love, he says:
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavors.
- Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavor.
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- Gorgonzola!
- Wait, it is not on yet.

Two friends:
- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
- Of course! How many people are coming?
- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.

A little boy asked his mother:
- Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
- Don't even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don't bark.

One woman stops a taxi.
- To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says:
- You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
- Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither.

One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.

Pinocchio talks to Geppetto:
- Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls.
- You know, my son, I didn't care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it.
After some time, Geppetto asks Pinocchio:
- Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?
- Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.

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